How to Write Vows

How to Write Wedding Vows
with guest blog writer and officiant Emily of Rooted and Wild

We are so excited to share with you this new blog on how to write your vows!! To us, this is the most important part of your elopement day, sharing your words + promises with each other. This is one of the most special things about elopements because, its just you two sometimes, meaning you get the whole world to yourselves for this moment. While this is the most connected part of the day, for some it can be the most challenging to do. Why? Welp, marrying someone is HUGE! You love this person so much, how do you communicate that?? We hope this blog helps!
We have brought in an amazing officiant, celebrant and vow workshop provider, Emily, the owner of Rooted and Wild. She is based out of the great Pacific Northwest and I highly recommend her if you’re looking for someone to hold your ceremony on your elopement or wedding day. Let’s dig into what advice and tips she has to give!
A Celebrant’s Tips for Writing your Vows
Vows are my favorite part of the wedding ceremony. I love hearing the sincere bravery of an undefended heart, the hilarity of inside jokes, and the raw honesty of hope. It is a powerful exchange of promise. Because of that, vow writing can be a daunting process for many people. It might feel impossible to distill the contents of your heart. And how will you know if you picked the right words?
I’m here to tell you that there is no wrong way to write your vows. Yes, there are reflection questions and potential structures that might help but at the root of it, you are the only one who can write your own vows. It’s your unique love story. I have heard a lot of different vows as a Celebrant and I can honestly say that they have all been utterly beautiful because they came straight from the heart. So, that’s the good news. You can take a deep breath. You’re going to be fine, they’re going to be beautiful, and I promise that writing your vows can actually be a fun part of your wedding planning process. And we all know that you could use something fun to focus on in these uncertain times.

Where do you begin with writing your own vows?
I love this quote by Hilary T. Smith: “People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves.”
So, where do you start with vow writing? You start by writing down the details in reverence for the cracks in the sidewalk and the secret rooftops of your lover. You fell in love with a unique person and there are so many specific things that you love about them. We rarely reflect back to our partners that we love the freckles on their shoulder or the way they always cry during Hallmark commercials. There is such reverence in these little details. Start there.
Here are a few prompts to get you started:
- Make a list of songs, places, inside jokes and favorite memories that are significant to your relationship. Nothing is too small or seemingly insignificant to mention.
- How does your partner show you that they love you?
- How does your partner make you laugh?
- How have you changed since meeting your partner?
- What promises do you want to make to your partner?

Next, take a look at what you’ve written and notice what jumps out at you. More than likely you won’t include every single thing that you just wrote down in your vows. You’ve got your entire marriage to keep sharing these details with one another, so don’t worry about cramming it all into your vows. But take a look at the things you’ve written and consider what rises to the surface. What feels juicy and important to include in your vows? Make note of these things.
When you sit down to write, take a deep breath and imagine looking at your fiancé on your wedding day. Let the words flow. Be honest, be brave, be vulnerable. Most of all, be yourself. If you are a serious person, no need to turn into a comedian when writing your vows. You be you.
Adventure and Vow’s answer: Our answer to this question, comes from our own personal experience. When we eloped we both started writing in notes on our laptop. We started with random thoughts and writings about our relationship – starting with ourselves prior to meeting, meeting each other, falling in love, what our hopes are for the future, what we wanted to promise to each other and so forth. Then we worked on tying all of those bits together. I (Traci here!), found it helpful to write in general not just during vows. So once we got engaged I started keeping a journal and writing in everyday about a memory or feeling. This helped trigger my memory for writing vows and gave me inspo.
How long should my vows be?
There are no rules, though I typically see them range between 1-3 minutes (½ to 1 page typed). If you’re worried about your vows being way longer or shorter than your partner’s vows, talk about it before you sit down to write and agree on an approximate length. No need to time them and get all analytical with it because the length of your vows has no correlation with how much you love your partner. Say what you want to say in as much time as it takes you to say those things.
**Adventure and Vow’s Answer to this question: We eloped just us two, out ceremony was close to 30 minutes, which was basically us just reading our vows to each other! At an elopement, your vows can be 1 minute or they can be an hour! We have literally had both ends of this at elopements we have captured. There is not a right or wrong answer here. This is your ceremony, your day and your time to connect, be together, embrace the moment. Do not stress about their length if they are long or short. You do you.


Can you show me an example of a wedding vow?
Here is an excerpt from vows that were written by someone who came to my vow writing workshops claiming that she wasn’t a writer and didn’t know where to start:
“For me, home is in your arms. A feeling of calmness runs through me. It’s where I feel most safe and tranquil. Your infectious, bright smile is the first thing I fell in love with. More specifically, the gap between your two front teeth. Laughing with you is my daily medicine. I love your perpetual quest for meaningful connections to people and animals and your thirst for adventure, nature, pleasure, travel and excitement. Your ability to learn anything you truly care to is a thing of beauty and your ability to see people for who they are and not just the surface, is a true gift. You inspire me each day by working to be your best self. I am proud of the ambitious, courageous, compassionate woman I am becoming by way of illustration. You have contributed more to my life than I thought anyone ever could. You are always there when I need you, supporting me in whatever I do.”
How to end vows?
Ending your wedding vows is an opportunity to leave a lasting impression that resonates with both your partner and your guests. To conclude, consider circling back to the heart of your relationship—what makes your bond unique. You might seal your vows with a powerful promise, such as, “No matter what life brings, I will always choose you.”
Alternatively, you could evoke a sense of the future by expressing excitement for the journey ahead: “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life discovering the world with you by my side.” If you want to infuse sentimentality, a heartfelt acknowledgment like, “You are my greatest love and my forever home,” can bring your vows to an emotional close.
For couples with a lighter touch, ending with a sweet or humorous note that reflects your personality, such as, “And yes, I promise to always share my snacks,” can add charm. Whatever approach you take, ensure your ending feels authentic to your love story and encapsulates the commitment you’re making on your wedding day.
Our hearts are beautiful writers. Let yours speak.
If you’d like additional guidance, I encourage you to come to a vow writing workshop! It’s a fun evening of reflection and connection, available online or in-person in Portland, Oregon. I believe in creating inclusive and fiercely loving spaces in my workshops. All love stories are welcome and honored.
Happy writing,
Emily
Celebrant and Owner of Rooted & Wild: Spirited Ceremonies


When to read your vows during your elopement day?
Elopements come with no rules, you get to structure the day anyway that you want to. However, most commonly we see vows exchanged between couples in these ways:
- Private vows shared at sunrise together
- Vows shared within the official ceremony
- Vows shared at the end of the day privately
We have seen couples share their vows privately, then share a different version of their vows within the ceremony.
If you are sharing your vows within the ceremony, no matter what if we are officiating, we will step away to give you some privacy. Some couples stay standing at the ceremony spot to share, some walk to a different spot to share in more privacy or some have chosen to sit down together to share their vows.
Don’t shy away from doing something totally unique if it works for you two and how you envision sharing your wedding day with each other.

Wedding Vows about Adventure
Since we focus on photographing + planning adventurous elopements we have seen and heard some quite beautiful and well said wedding vows centered around adventures and the outdoors. To write vows that are in line with the adventurous nature of your relationship and elopement consider:
- What type of adventure have you two connected over?
- How has your relationship been strengthened by this adventure?
- What parallels are there in marriage to this type of activity?
- Can you make promises that relate to the adventure that can be told in metaphors?
Here are some examples of what past couples have said/used:
“Climbing can’t be done alone, it can but only if you’re crazy or Alex Honnold. It requires a partner to give the climber a belay or spot and it insists that you and your partner develop your relationship on a foundation of trust and teamwork by it’s dangerous nature.
At the risk of sounding a like a complete cornball, love and marriage are like climbing in that respect.
In climbing where you need a leader and a follower each takes their turn at either role on a pitch or problem, in a relationship each person must be willing to switch off and support the other, catching their partner softly when they fall and giving them they encouragement they need to get back up and ice the route another go.”

“Life with you is like our favorite trails—sometimes challenging, always beautiful, and full of surprises. I promise to hold your hand when we cross rivers, to cheer you on at every summit, and to never forget the joy of the journey. Whether we’re lost in the woods or watching a perfect sunrise from our tent, I vow to find my way back to you, always. You are my greatest adventure, my home in the wilderness, and my forever trail buddy.”
When we eloped a woman stopped to give us marriage advice, the advice was really something I could’ve included in my vows. The advice was: “Marriage is like the trial, you are going to have highs and lows. There will be days it’s hard and all uphill and days where it is magical and beautiful. You may think the summit is the purpose, but truly what matters the most is the journey along the way.”

Help with writing your wedding vows
If you do not want to attend a workshop or seek one on one help from a celebrant, there are other places you can pull information from or get help with. Here are some ideas:
- You can work together to write vows, creating an outline together could help you write the entire thing in confidence the the direction to go.
- You can take inspiration and words from poems, songs or authors.
- Using ChatGBT – you can use ChatGBT to give you an outline, inspirational ideas or it can literally write it for you, though we recommend making it more personal than that.
Looking for an Elopement Photographer?
Here at Adventure & Vow we are here for you every step of the way. We love providing blog posts to help you plan your day and get ideas for your elopement. Once we start working with a couple we help them connect with other vendors they need, finding the best locations and helping them plan the logistics. Your elopement day should be the day you are most connected to each other. We are here to help you a have a day that allows this in some of the most beautiful places in the world. As a planner, photographer, guide and friend we value your experience. We are beyond blessed to capture couple’s love story the day of to help you two preserve these moments forever.

If you are looking for even more help and inspiration on writing your vows check out Wandering Wedding’s blog post, How to Write Wedding Vows Guide. One of the recent elopements I photographed was featured along with their wedding ceremony and vows.


Meet your team!
Hi – it is Traci, Bill and Malachi
Over the years, we’ve helped hundreds of couples plan and document intentional, meaningful elopements in wild places.
Our blogs are where we share what we’ve learned—location guides, planning tips, real elopement stories, and advice to help you feel confident and inspired as you plan your own day.
Whether you’re just getting started or deep in the details, we’re here to support and inspire you. When you’re ready, reach out to book a free consult call and start planning your day with us.